A Billion Monkeys

They say that if you put a billion monkeys in front of a billion computers for a billion years, one of them will write a Shakespearean play. Or throw feces at each other. Or vote Republican.

So, searching the web for the answer to the question: “What’s the difference between Sarah Palin and Dick Cheney?” I found at least a billion sites that gave the same answer: Lipstick. LOL. Or at least SUYB (snicker under your breath).

So, now that Governor Palin has officially been anointed as Republican VP candidate Palin, it’s time to figure out the actual differences between Palin and Cheney.

First off, while there are some slight similarities. For example, they both wear glasses. Both have received major dollars from oil companies. But that is where the similarity ends.

First of all, Palin was vetted more by ABC's Charlie Gibson, than by McCain. Cheney was vetted, well,…by Cheney.

When hunting, Palin shoots caribou and moose. When hunting, Cheney shoots friends and campaign contributors.

Palin was named “Miss Congeniality” in the Miss Alaska contest. In movie terms, that makes her Mary Poppins. Cheney is more like Darth Vader.

Palin does not know what the VP does everyday. Cheney, last year, said that the Vice President was not part of the Executive Branch.

As governor, Palin has kept Alaska safe from attacks from Canada and Russia. Cheney, on the other hand, initiated a pre-emptive attack on Iraq.

Under Miss Alaska pageant rules, if the 1984 Miss Alaska (Maryline Blackburn) cannot perform her duties for any reason, Palin must take her place. Under the 25th Amendment, if the president cannot perform his duties for any reason, I think Bush actually takes Cheney’s place.

And finally, in her interview with ABC’s Gibson, Palin did not seem to know what the Bush Doctrine is. And, of course, it was Cheney who developed the Bush Doctrine.

So it goes.