Some advice for Lobbyist Dick Zimmer

According to a Fairleigh Dickenson poll, Senator Frank Lautenberg leads Lobbyist Dick Zimmer by 16 points, 50-34. 14 percent say they’re undecided.

So, if Lobbyist Zimmer by some amazing miracle can still somehow muster a coalition between his “Zimmer Supporters” and “The Undecideds” ----he will still be behind Frank Lautenberg 50-48. Where is the other 2% here? Where do they stand? Are they the Silent Minority? I am waiting for the poll folks at Fairleigh Dickenson to explain. I don't know.

However, there are more bad numbers for Lobbyist Zimmer: More than two-thirds of New Jersey’s most likely voters (71%) have no idea who Lobbyist Zimmer is. Have no opinion of him. More people have been to the Vince Lombardi Service Area, than know who Lobbyist Zimmer is. Tough to run in NJ if people have no idea who you are.

Now, the last time Lobbyist Zimmer won an election [in 1994], Clinton had not even met Monica Lewinskly; George W. Bush was not yet the Governor of Texas, and a baseball strike had canceled the World Series.

So, no wonder more people know who Gilligan is than Lobbyist Zimmer. He needs to learn how to be more popular.

So, here are some basic tips for Lobbyist Zimmer, courtesy of Wikihow, on “How to Be Popular”:

1. Be willing to step out of your comfort zone.
That means seeking the support of Democrats, as well as Republicans. Tough one, this year with Bush hanging around every Republicans’ neck.

2. Be friendly.
I have met you in Hunterdon County, and you seem like a friendly guy. Just maybe stop the “Where’s Frank?” schtick, though. It’s annoying people at diners.

3. You may see popular kids that can be very mean to others. Just try to ignore them.
This is what got you in trouble in 1996 in your race against Torricelli---you tried the ‘nasty campaign’ style of your fellow Republicans, and it did not work.

4. Talk to anyone and everyone who crosses your path.
A ‘gimmee’ in politics. Talk to people at train stations, bus stops, door-to-door

5. Stop thinking about yourself.
Tough one in politics. Electeds always think about themselves.

6. Give a helping hand.
You’re a Lobbyist. Duh.

7. Be yourself.
See number 3.

8. Don't say anything that would be laughed at, only say what you wouldn't care if anyone knew.
Perhaps a little bit more humor would actually help.