Redistricting Commission Unveils Twelve New Congressional Districts that All Look Like New Jersey

“…this type of redistricting is much easier in “squarer states like Kansas.”

The game of musical chairs that is congressional redistricting progressed late into tonight, with the apparent focus remaining on the elimination of one of three districts in the northeastern part of the state.

But as the third day of meetings continued, there was finally a vote on a new map to reduce the number of New Jersey’s congressional districts from 13 to 12 as mandated by the 2010 Census.

“The new map has twelve districts that all have the shape of New Jersey,” noted former state Attorney General John Farmer, the independent appointee who would have had to cast a tiebreaking vote if necessary.

“And while the Garden State population outside of those Jersey-shaped areas will have no representation in Congress, the map does look much nicer this way.” Farmer also pointed out that “there was none of the usual gerrymandering” that accompanied re-districting in the past.

The chairman of the Republican team, Mike DuHaime, a longtime political strategist, confirmed that this was the “best compromise we could come to…”.

“I think there’s been good progress on both sides. It’s been an open dialogue both between the two sides and with (Farmer),” declared DuHaime. Former Assembly Speaker Joseph Roberts, who is leading the Democrats, agreed. “It’s been intense but somewhat collegial,” mentioned Roberts.

According to the National Commission on Congressional Management, this type of redistricting is much easier in “squarer states like Kansas, Colorado or Wyoming, but tougher in New Jersey.”

Cherry Hill Man Believed He Had To Turn The Clocks Back One Hour Each Weekend

“He was always an hour early to every painting job we hired him for.”

Cory Brodsky, a self-employed house painter, since early June of 2008 firmly believed that “the law required us to turn back the clocks one hour each weekend at 2 AM”.

“I have been doing this ever since the third weekend in June 2008, when I moved out from my parents into my own apartment in Cherry Hill. I thought it was the grown-up thing to do to follow the law, and now I find that I’ve been doing the wrong thing,” noted Mr. Brodsky, with a confused look on his face.

Daylight saving time in several countries is the practice of temporarily advancing clocks during the summertime so that afternoons have more daylight and mornings have less.

Mr. Brodsky, up until this past weekend, was of the mistaken belief that the actual date was October 10, 2010, obviously the effect of turning back the clock one hour each weekend for almost 3 years.

“I have been writing the wrong date on checks. Since I work for myself I didn’t really have to be anywhere more or less on time,” added Brodsky.

However, Brodsky will have trouble adjusting to losing more than a year of his life. “It’s been really weird––over the past year, for me the World Series was in February, Christmas really was in June. The only holidays that seemed to be at the right time were the Jewish holidays of Shavuos and Lag B’Omer––which tend to move around anyway.”

On the bright side, there were some advantages to his mistake. “He was always an hour early to every painting job we hired him for,” said Mrs. Mona Jane Dudek, a 73-year-old resident of Evesham Township, “and he always finished way ahead of schedule.”

New Jersey To Issue Its Own Currency? Springsteen And Sinatra To Appear On New Paper Money.

From www.whatexitnj.com:

“My personal favorite for the One Hundred Dollar bill is Joe Piscopo.”

“Everyone agrees that Jerry Lewis (of Weehawken) or Lou Costello (of Paterson) should be on the One Dollar bill,” said Assemblyman Michael Patrick Carroll, sponsor of bill A-1776. “And that either Frank Sinatra (of Hoboken) or Bruce Springsteen (of Long Branch) should be on the One Thousand Dollar bill.”

Carroll is the main sponsor for legislation, A-1776, that would “…immediately initiate, create, fashion and grant authority to the state of New Jersey to print monetary paper currency to be valid for all debts public and private for the state there in.” The bill is cosponsored in the State Assembly by fellow legislators Allison Littell McHose (NJ-24), Erik Peterson (NJ-23), and John DiMaio (NJ-23). The same legislation is sponsored in the Senate by Senator Michael Doherty as S-117.

“The Obama administration has so devalued American currency, by its failed economic and fiscal policies, that this is the best a state can do,” noted Carroll.

Under Article I Section 8 of the Federal Constitution, Congress has the authority to:

“To coin Money, regulate the Value thereof, and of foreign Coin, and fix the Standard of Weights and Measures; To provide for the Punishment of counterfeiting the Securities and current Coin of the United States.”

One would think that this alone would deter Assemblyman Carroll, ––– however he claims that “Article I Section 8 merely refers to ‘coin money’, and not paper currency.”

“In an originalist interpretation of the Constitution, as the Founding Fathers would have us interpret the document, there is no mention of ‘paper money’ – just ‘coin money’ ”, noted Carroll.

“Obviously, the intent of the Framers was to leave this to the Several States, under the 10^th amendment––which says ‘The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.’ The Founding Fathers clearly had it in mind for states to issue their own paper currency. It is only liberal activist courts that have subverted this Original Intent.”

Additionally, under A-1776, “An exploratory New Jersey Currency Commission shall be set up in the following manner: Two members shall be appointed from the general public by the governor; Two members shall be appointed by each house of the legislature; and the Seventh member shall be the Chief Justice of the New Jersey Supreme Court, unless he is a ‘liberal’, whereby the governor shall have the power to appoint his own additional nominee subject to the advice and consent of himself.”

The New Jersey Currency Commission shall have the power to decide which persons, living or dead, will appear the on the various denominations of the paper money.

“There are those liberals who have their favorites; Princeton is lobbying for Woodrow Wilson or Paul Robeson. My personal favorite for the One Hundred Dollar bill is Joe Piscopo. That ‘I’m from Jersey’ bit from 1980s SNL still cracks me up,” finished Carroll.

New Jersey Plan to Make Money With Formula One Grand Prix: “Charge Tolls”.

“E-Z Pass is a remarkable toll collection technology that makes race car driving more convenient.”

Governor Chris Christie announced this week that in 2013, there will be a Formula 1 Grand Prix race in New Jersey. The plan includes the cooperation of the mayors of Weehawken and West New York, two cities geographically involved in the circuit’s layout.

However Mayors Richard F. Turner of Weehawken and Felix Roque of West New York, both had the same concern, “How does New Jersey make money on this?”

“Tolls. And the sale of E-Z Pass to Formula One Grand Prix top drivers, of course. We have already received E-Z Pass applications from Ferrari’s Felipe Massa, and Mercedes GP star Michael Schumacher, as well as several other top drivers,” added Christie.

“E-Z Pass is a remarkable toll collection technology that makes race car driving more convenient, and will help Formula One drivers save money through discount plans offered by many toll facilities. It will reduce traffic congestion for everyone in the race,” noted New Jersey E-Z Pass Director Jorge Ramon Caceres.

Both Massa and Schumacher expressed concern that, “Having to stop every eight miles or so, and find change to pay a toll,” might impede their ability to be competitive.

“New Jersey remains a leader in hosting all types of national and international sporting events,” Governor Christie said, adding the Grand Prix of America to a list that includes last winter’s NCAA tournament and the Super Bowl in 2014. “While some pure race drivers will opt out of E-Z Pass , it is there for those drivers who wish to take advantage of the time savings it provides.”

World champion Sebastian Vettel, was equally impressed with the challenge of racing in New Jersey.

“It’s interesting, a good challenge,” said Vettel. “It’s very dusty to start with, but the track seems like it will be a new type of challenge…especially the toll lanes that give a lot of options to all the drivers. ‘Exact Change Only’. ‘E-Z Pass lanes Only’. ‘Cash Only’. Toll-operators in case drivers need directions. We’ll see a good race in 2013.”

Placing a race in New Jersey, on a 10-year contract, “will be one of the best decisions you ever made.” Gov. Christie also said he is interested in bringing NASCAR to the track

Congressman Leonard Lance Replaced With Evil Twin Right Wing Cousin “Cubby Lance”...

June 5th, 2011:

Congressman Leonard Lance Replaced With Evil

Twin Right Wing Cousin “Cubby Lance”

Washington, DC: It has been determined through carefully DNA screening, that moderate Republican Leonard Lance, has been replaced by his Right Wing/Tea Party evil twin cousin, “Cubby Lance”. This is from a source deep inside the Lance Congressional office, who needs to remain anonymous, and is known only by the name ‘State Street’.

“Meet Leonard, who's been in NJ everywhere,
From Trenton town to Hamilton Square.
But Cubby’s only sees the sights.
A guy can see from Extreme Right --
What a crazy pair!”, offered ‘State Street’.

The Star-Ledger first broke the story at the end of May, (Tom Moran’s “The Curious Transformation of N.J. Congressman Leonard Lance”), but did not reveal the reason why Lance seemed to ‘transform’.

Where former State Senator Lance was pro-choice, Congressman “Cubby” Lance has voted to de-fund Planned Parenthood; where former State Senator Lance was a solid supporter of senior citizens and Medicare, Congressman “Cubby” Lance has voted with Paul Ryan to destroy Medicare.

“But they're cousins,
Identical cousins all the way.
One pair of matching bookends,
Different as night and day,” continued ‘State Street’.

“Where Leonard always votes for pro-choice,
Supports Medicare, and has a moderate voice;
But Cubby votes with his Right-wing Chair
loves the Tea Party, against health care;
What a crazy pair!” shared ‘State Street’.

“You can lose your mind,
When cousins are two of a kind.”

There was no immediate comment from the Republican National Committee, or from New Jersey Republican Chairman Samual S. Raia as to when the real Leonard Lance would return to Congress.

March 1st, 2011: Rep. Jon Runyun beats "Toaster Oven" in Jeopardy! Challenge

Republican New Jersey Rep. Jon Runyan was the sole competitor to beat the Sanyo SK-7W Toaster Oven (nicknamed "Toasty") in a mock Capitol Hill exhibition of "Jeopardy!" Monday night, beating out House Speaker John Boehner, Rep. Michelle Bachman (R.-MN), and Eric Cantor (R.-VA.), and Kevin McCarthy (CA-22). Cantor and Bachman scored no points at all: Cantor could not figure out how to use the buzzer system and Bachman looked into the wrong camera throughout the Jeopardy! Challenge. Sanyo hosted the Washington event -- a non-televised, informal game of Jeopardy -- to demonstrate the impact of kitchen technology on society, according to the Hill. "Toasty", Sanyo's interactive toaster-oven, is equipped with some of the most sophisticated heating coils in the world. "I am not surprised Toasty lost; it is not an American made product. A Black and Decker toaster oven would have been tougher," Runyan said, according to the Hill. Toasty was unable to answer a question about the Dred Scott Supreme Court decision, but Runyan knew the answer from his debate with former Congressman John Adler. "Luckily, I still had that answer written on my hand," shared Rep. Runyan. In other news, Gov. Christie told the Star-Ledger that he was upset that Charlie Sheen was "stealing my signature ranting and yelling bit. That is my bit, not his."

February 22, 2011: Gov. Christie to hold “Turn Back The Clock!” Counter-Rally with Republican electeds

As Charles Wowkanech, New Jersey State AFL-CIO President, joins a furious clan of Wisconsin workers who will travel to Trenton this Friday who say the time is now to rally for collective bargaining rights, Gov. Christie will hold a counter rally on the Statehouse steps with Wisconsin Republican Governor Scott Walker. Christie and Walker will be joined by dozens of other Republican elected officials from around the nation at their "Turn Back The Clock!" Rally. "The time is not 'Now'; the time is 'Then'. It is time to turn back the clocks," asserted Walker in a media release. Wisconsin Gov. Walker, who wishes to turn back the clock on public union labor's right to collective bargaining, will be joined onstage by New Jersey Congressman Chris Smith, who wishes to redefine the legal definition of rape, turning back the clock on the right to womens' productive freedom; Missouri State Sen. Jane Cunningham, who's introduced a bill to turn back the clock on child labor laws; and newly elected Kentucky Sen. Rand Paul, who earlier last year expressed his wish to turn back the clock on civil rights by declaring that the Civil Rights Act of 1964 was "unconstitutional". "This is who I am!™," began Gov. Christie with his now famous trademark phrIase. "Last year in New Jersey, and last November, the American people elected Republicans to turn back the clocks. To turn back the clocks on collective bargaining for unions. On environmental protection. On abortion rights. On child labor laws." Public workers say 'the time is now'. Well, we say the time is 'then'. Now is the time to turn back the clock to 'then'. At this rally, we will stand shoulder to shoulder in solidarity with our fellow Republican electeds across the nation and speak out to support their right to turn back the clocks.

Christie issues Executive Order “terminating New York Mets basebal

News shocker: February 17, 2011

New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie issues Executive Order “terminating New York Mets baseball season as of February 18 due to the ongoing baseball season crisis”.

Against the objections of New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg, New Jersey Gov. Christie Christie issued Executive Order No. 41 officially terminating the New York Mets baseball season as of February 18th. However, the New Jersey governor may have overreached his authority this time.

“The governor of New Jersey has no authority over the New York Mets, as they are geographically domiciled in Queens, with their principal place of business being in New York City. If anyone has the authority to put the team out of their misery before the start of the baseball season that would be me is the mayor of New York,” said Mayor Bloomberg in a statement to the press. The New York mayor was still considering all options at this time to deal with the impending Mets baseball season crisis. Governor Christie defended his actions, “ I am a lifelong New York Mets fan, and it pains me to have to take this action. But the families of New Jersey come first, and must be protected from the ongoing baseball crisis.”

Teams scheduled to play the Mets will receive “a half a win for each game that was to be played”, said Major League Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig.

The exact wording of Executive Order No. 41, in part:

WHEREAS, the last time the New York Mets were in the World Series was 2000; and

WHEREAS, the New York Mets finished the 2010 season with a winning percentage of just .488, in fourth place; and

WHEREAS, the New York Mets finished the 2009 season with a 70-92 record, finishing in 4^th place in NL East; and

WHEREAS, the New York Mets finished the 2008 season with a 89-73 record, finishing in 2nd place in NL East; and

WHEREAS, the USA Today's sports section last week touted the Phillies' pitching staff as “one of the all-time bests…”NOW, THEREFORE, I, CHRIS CHRISTIE, Governor of the State of New Jersey, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and by the Statutes of this State, do hereby ORDER and DIRECT:

1. A state of baseball emergency exists with regard to the New York Mets ‘professional’ baseball team by reason of the facts and circumstances set forth above.

2. In light of these facts and circumstances, I hereby order the termination of the New York Mets baseball season as of Friday, February 18^th 2011;

3. Furthermore, I order all pitchers, catchers and all other baseball players currently contracted to perform professional athletic services for the New York Mets to return home to their families until further notice, and cease and desist from any and all spring training activities at this time.

4. Mets manager Terry Collins is hereby ordered immediately to cease and desist from any and all managerial, directorial, coaching and other leadership activities.

4. This action is taken to ensure that the families of the New York/New Jersey metropolitan area are in no danger of seeing something offensive to the sensibilities of the ordinary baseball fan.

AP Newswire Trenton February 4, 2011: New census data: Hispanics the dominant minority group; number 2: Facebook-Americans.

AP Newswire Trenton February 4, 2011: New census data: Hispanics the dominant minority group; number 2: Facebook-Americans. New Jersey's population grew more racially and online-virtually diverse over the past decade and continued its shift to southern counties, according to new data released today by the Census Bureau. The numbers from the 2010 Census provide a detailed portrait of the state's ongoing demographic changes, including population counts for all 21 counties, 566 municipalities. Among the findings: • Hispanics are now the dominant minority group in New Jersey after decades of sustained growth. • However, the number of New Jerseyans who identified themselves as "FaceBook-Americans" rose 39 percent to roughly 1.5 million. • Twitter-Americans were counted for the first time in 2010, and showed to be a growing virtual population at just under 3%. • MySpace-Americans, once a dominant group in 2000, have dwindled down to .02% of the virtual population. The Census information will be used almost immediately to redraw legislative districts in time for the November elections. A man who identified as "BobinPJs" tweeted that the "rdstrictng plns in NJ n stp trtng us like r dnt exst." The white population continued to decline in New Jersey, falling 1 percent to about 6.03 million. This is the second consecutive decade the proportion of white residents has fallen in New Jersey, which New Jersey State Tea Party chair Donald Bardus Swartz, of Teaneck immediately "blamed on the Jews." In other news, Congressman Jon Ryan expressed concern that the new census data may cause New Jersey to lose several state legislative seats: "...now we have 40 state senators. This decrease in population due to having less people may cause that number to be 38 or even 35 by the time we're all done."

January 24-28, 2011: That Was New Jersey News That Was!

* Congressman Jon Runyon of New Jersey's Third Congressional District:Rep. Runyon issued the following statement regarding President Obama's State of the Union address: "...first the president doesn't tell Congress who is coming from China, next none of the beer vendors at the speech ever made their way up to where I was sitting. And that was another thing, I have to sit next to "Democrats"---and the president used to many highfalutin' words. I mean--WTF?"

*N.J. bill aims to end nepotism at charter, public schools: "Though nepotism has been a way of life in some New Jersey school districts, there are signs that change may be coming," said State Sen. Randall "Randy" Stottlemyre (D-41). "This bill being considered by the state Assembly would prohibit the state's charter schools and 588 school districts from hiring staff who are related to the superintendent, a board member, personnel director, business administrator or the school district's attorney," added Middlesex County School Superintendent Martin "Marty" Stottlemyre. Woodbridge Township Superintendent John "Johnnyboy" Stottlemyre said "...the bill will not affect his school district because nepotism rules have been in place since at least 1992."

* Gov. Christie tells anti-abortion activists he is on their side during Statehouse rally: Gov. Chris Christie made brief remarks before hundreds who weathered bitter temperatures to mark the anniversary of the Supreme Court's decision in Roe v. Wade. Speaking for five minutes without a coat, Christie told the attendees that "every life is precious and a gift from God." In response, God issued the following statement: "First of all, I am a God of free will. Notice that I do not demand that People love Me or accept Me. I loved You first and allow You to make the choice to accept that love and to love Me back. Now that's Pro-Choice. Also, if you go outside in 0° weather, wear a coat for Me Sakes. You're the governor! First you go to Florida in a snowstorm--then you don't wear a coat when it's freezing out? What kind of example is that to set for New Jersey kids, huh?"

* North Hunterdon High teen breaks up mid-terms with disgusting smell:A 16-year-old Clinton Township boy faces disorderly charges for causing a disgusting smell in his classroom during mid-term exams at North Hunterdon High School. According to police, the teen was in class at North Hunterdon on Monday and asked to use the bathroom. The boy then took a carry-out style coffee mug with a screw-on cap with him to the nurses' office bathroom. The boy defecated in the mug, screwed the cap on, and returned to the classroom where he unscrewed the lid, and "this caused a disruption in the classroom," police said. The American Center for Law and Justice (ACLJ) which focuses on constitutional law for conservative issues, has decided to "defend the boy's First Amendment right to express his views in any way he so chooses. This is like the Tinker case all over again... only

maybe we can call it the Stinker case...".

ing, I have to sit next to “Democrats”–––and the president used to many highfalutin’ words. I mean––WTF?”

*N.J. bill aims to end nepotism at charter, public schools: “Though nepotism has been a way of life in some New Jersey school districts, there are signs that change may be coming,” said State Sen. Randall “Randy” Stottlemyre (D-41). “This bill being considered by the state Assembly would prohibit the state’s charter schools and 588 school districts from hiring staff who are related to the superintendent, a board member, personnel director, business administrator or the school district’s attorney,” added Middlesex County School Superintendent Martin “Marty” Stottlemyre. Woodbridge Township Superintendent John “Johnnyboy” Stottlemyre said “…the bill will not affect his school district because nepotism rules have been in place since at least 1992.”

* Gov. Christie tells anti-abortion activists he is on their side during Statehouse rally: Gov. Chris Christie made brief remarks before hundreds who weathered bitter temperatures to mark the anniversary of the Supreme Court’s decision in Roe v. Wade. Speaking for five minutes without a coat, Christie told the attendees that "every life is precious and a gift from God." In response, God issued the following statement: “First of all, I am a God of free will. Notice that I do not demand that People love Me or accept Me. I loved You first and allow You to make the choice to accept that love and to love Me back. Now that's Pro-Choice. Also, if you go outside in 0° weather, wear a coat for Me Sakes. You’re the governor! First you go to Florida in a snowstorm––then you don't wear a coat when it's freezing out? What kind of example is that to set for New Jersey kids, huh?”

* North Hunterdon High teen breaks up mid-terms with disgusting smell: A 16-year-old Clinton Township boy faces disorderly charges for causing a disgusting smell in his classroom during mid-term exams at North Hunterdon High School. According to police, the teen was in class at North Hunterdon on Monday and asked to use the bathroom. The boy then took a carry-out style coffee mug with a screw-on cap with him to the nurses’ office bathroom. The boy defecated in the mug, screwed the cap on, and returned to the classroom where he unscrewed the lid, and “this caused a disruption in the classroom,” police said. The American Center for Law and Justice (ACLJ) which focuses on constitutional law for conservative issues, has decided to “defend the boy’s First Amendment right to express his views in any way he so chooses. This is like the Tinker case all over again… only maybe we can call it the Stinker case…”.

Wikipedia: Michelle Malkin is an American conservative blogger, political commentator, and author. Her weekly, syndicated column appears in a number of newspapers and websites nationwide. She has been a guest on MSNBC, Fox News Channel, C-SPAN, and national radio programs. Malkin has written four books published byRegnery Publishing.

We had the chance to meet at the RightOnline Conference in Pitttsburgh two years ago. Why bring this up now? Because when I was cleaning off my desk, I came upon some notes I had after we met. She is not the world's nicest person.

More Wikipedia: In 2004, she wrote In Defense of Internment: The Case for 'Racial Profiling' in World War II and the War on Terror, defending Japanese American internment by the United States government during World War II, and arguing that the same procedures could be used on Arab- and Muslim-Americans today. The book engendered harsh criticism from several Asian American civil rights organizations. The "Historians' Committee for Fairness", a group of professors, condemned the book for not having undergonepeer review and argued that its central thesis is false. It was announced in August 2004 that the Hawaii-based newspaper MidWeek dropped her column as a result of the controversy. Beginning in November 2004, this move was followed by The Virginian-Pilot, with criticism that she was "an Asian Ann Coulter".Malkin responded, "I'm not Asian, I'm American, for goodness' sake. I would take the comparison to Ann Coulter as somewhat of a compliment. I have a lot of respect for Ann Coulter."

Someone needs to tell Malkin that although she is an American citizen, her ethnicity would have landed her in a camp 70 years ago.