On the job

Strangely enough, a politician who wants to get a little nookie on the side while he is in office can’t win no matter what they do. The latest to test this theory was Governor Mark Sanford from South Carolina.

If you’ve been following the news, you may know that “Hiking the Appalachian Trail” is a new Southern euphemism for “getting laid”.

Sanford traveled all the way to South America get his nookie, apparently.

At least the others in the US: Spitzer got his in Washington, DC; McGreevey stayed at NJ highway rest stops for his.

And President Bill Clinton stayed on the job by getting his right in the Oval Office. If nuclear launch codes were needed, Clinton was still right there will and ready to be the leader of the free world.

Not so Sanford. He was out of town during his affair.

Unreachable by his staff, the press and the people of South Carolina. He met his paramour on a trip a year ago paid for by the South Carolina Department of Commerce---the taxpayers kicked in for that one. To his credit, the governor did offer to pay back the state for that portion of the trip where he had the affair. I guess any days where he failed to get laid, he’s not paying for. Good sport, governor.

Under the South Carolina State constution, Article IV, SECTION 2. “Qualifications of Governor”:

No person shall be eligible to the office of Governor who denies the existence of the Supreme Being.

So, if when he was getting his nookie, the good governor did not shout out the Lord’s name, perhaps he can get impeached.

Political power couples.

The headlines this morning could not have been more confusing:

Star Ledger: “Discord turns to détente for McGreeveys”.

The New York Times: “Clinton to Fight On Despite Split Result”.

Wow! Did you ever think the McGreeveys would settle their differences before the Clinton/Obama folks settled theirs? Gotta love politics! Never a dull moment.

But, maybe, just maybe---there are more similarities between these two “political power” couples than meets the eye…

Jim McGreevey & Dina Matos McGreevey:

He wrote a book, then she wrote a book.

Barack Obama & Hillary Clinton:

She wrote a book, and he wrote a couple of books.

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JMcG & DM McG:

Engaged in a sexual threesome, with a former driver.

BHO Jr & HRC:

For a while, engaged in a political threesome with former Senator John Edwards.

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JMcG & DM McG:

They don't love each other. Hmmm…wonder if they ever did.

BHO Jr & HRC:

They don't love each other. Hmmm…Wonder if they ever did.

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JMcG & DM McG:

One of their spouses had an affair with a Jewish Israeli working for the New Jersey government.

BHO Jr & HRC:

One of their spouses had an affair with a Jewish American working for the Federal government.

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JMcG & DM McG:

Were once a political power couple; and now they’re no longer speaking.

BHO Jr & HRC:

Now they’re no longer speaking, but if they got together, they could a political power couple.

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JMcG & DM McG:

Both appeared on the Oprah Winfrey Show, seeking a book endorsement.

BHO Jr & HRC:

Both appeared on the Oprah Winfrey Show, but only one of them was endorsed by Oprah.

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JMcG & DM McG:

One of them once had the support of Jon Corzine, but now, who knows…

BHO Jr & HRC:

One of them once had the support of Jon Corzine, but now, who knows…

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JMcG & DM McG:

One of them is going to seminary college to become a minister.

BHO Jr & HRC:

One of them has a minister that should never have gone seminary college.

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JMcG & DM McG:

Trying to figure who gets custody of their daughter, Jacqueline.

BHO Jr & HRC:

Trying to figure who gets custody the delegates from Florida and Michigan.

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And finally…

BHO Jr & HRC:

Apparently, one of them is popular with college-educated males, the other with blue collar males.

JMcG & DM McG:

Apparently, one of them is popular with BOTH college educated males and with blue collar males.