Political advice from Christie to Kate: Just tell them you’re younger and shorter than me.

There are several prominent American political families in the nation. Historically, there is the Adams family [John and John Quincy, not Gomez and Morticia]; there are the distant cousins Roosevelt, Teddy and Franklin. More recently there are the Kennedys, the Rockefellers and, of course, the various members of the Bush clan [Jeb and Chimpy Flightsuit].

New Jersey, too, has our own prominent political families. There are the Frelinghuysens --- since 1793, New Jersey has sent six Frelinghuysens to Congress. The Lances [Wesley and Leonard]. And, of course, there is the Todd-Whitman clan ---with Christie Todd Whitman, her dad Webster Todd. And now, the newest addition to the Todd-Whitman political family legacy is daughter, Kate. Kate Whitman-Annis [she’s married to Craig Annis, but I wonder if she’ll run with her husband’s sir name].

Kate has got lots of Republican family connections on her side: Of course, there is mom and grand dad. Also, Kate is the great granddaughter-in-law of former Governor of New York Charles S. Whitman, who lost a re-election bid to Al Smith. Kate is also related distantly to the Bush family: Her uncle, Webster B. Todd, married Sheila O'Keefe, the stepdaughter of James Wear Walker, whose sister Dorothy Walker Bush was the mother of George H.W. Bush and grandmother of George W. Bush.

Whew. What a rookery of Republicans she comes from. That's a lot of Republican elephants mating.With all that red Republican blue-blood bursting through her veins, she has a lot to live up to.

Mom recently gave daughter some advice for the campaign trail:

“Don’t defend me....I told her, when they ask you the difference between you and your mother, just tell them you're 30 and I'm 61, you're 5-foot-7 and I'm 5-foot-8, and leave it at that,'' Whitman told The Associated Press.

Sounds like sound advice, given the elder Whitman’s recent troubles.

Always be Prepared

“One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.”
Dan Quayle

Vice President Dan Quayle, not unlike President Chimpy McFlightsuit, always had a way with phrases. But the message certainly is an important one: Be Prepared.

For your future arguments with any neo-cons or paleo-cons, I offer these two books for your look-see, and how to be prepared.

How to Win a Fight With a Conservative by Daniel Kurtzman

“How to Win a Fight With a Conservative is the ultimate survival guide to arguing politics, filled with cunning strategies and damning facts guaranteed to bait and baffle right-wing blowhards everywhere.

With the presidential election approaching, this irreverent yet practical guide is essential reading for unpracticed neophytes and seasoned politicos alike — the perfect primer for anyone who's ever fantasized about smacking sense into a misguided conservative adversary.

With the help of the tips and tricks in this book, we'll show you how to confidently tangle with conservatives in any situation — from surviving family sparring matches to engaging in Internet flame wars, or even what to do if you're sleeping with the enemy. If you're tired of right-wing nut jobs and their nonsense, it's time to do your part to defend America, one argument at a time.”

“We're Right, They're Wrong” by James Carville

The media is flooded with anti-Clinton and anti-Democrat propaganda. Republican voices and faces blanket the airwaves spouting misinformation at a breakneck pace. The average American hears only this one-sided barrage of negative attacks, yet few liberals respond. James Carville is one liberal who is not going to just sit idly while the Republicans mislead the American Public.

His new book, We're Right, They're Wrong, gives liberals and progressives the ammunition they need to fight back against the Republican media machine. We're Right, They're Wrong, Carville explains, is for people who want to know the facts behind the Republican myths and falsehoods. "It is for people who have had to put up with nauseating, inaccurate lectures from selfish airheads about the way the country was founded and what the Constitution really means," Carville says.

Anyway, 2008 will be a long road to the White House. A good reading of “We’re Right, They’re Wrong” and “How to Win a Fight With a Conservative” will keep you ready for the fights yet to come.

JOE TORRE FOR PRESIDENT

Say it ain’t so, Joe. Say it ain’t so.

Joe and the Yankees: It ain’t so. No more Joe.

Now, it’s no insult to offer a man five million dollars to run a baseball team. For a man in Joe’s position, it was no great honor either.

Last year he made 7.5 million. He was offered a 1/3 pay cut. For what? For leading the Yankees to their 13th consecutive post-season appearance? For taking the Yankees from the bottom of the division at 21-29 to the playoffs? He will be high on the list for Manager of the Year.

But as I say, it’s the Yankees loss, and, maybe, just maybe, the country’s gain.

So, I nominate Joe Torre for President. That’s right: Put Yankee pinstripes on the White House.

And why not? Certainly he can do a better job than Chimpy McFlightsuit.

And, it seems to me that Joe Torre possesses the very qualities needed to shape up and lead our nation.

He knows how to put together a good team ---the right people for the right job. When he came on in 1998, he brought Don Zimmer, Mel Stottlemeyer and Willie Randolph to help him coach. He brought in Don Mattingly for a hitting coach.

Foreign relations experience? You bet. He’s had to manage Hideki Matsui from Japan. Jorge Posada from Santurce, Puerto Rico. Chien-Ming Wang from Tainan, Taiwan. And A-Rod from Ego-Land.

On the job experience: He’s held office for twelve years ---much longer than most world leaders.

Domestic relations? He has successfully dealt with teams from Boston, Chicago, and Cleveland. He has had to deal with his own Chairman of the Board.

Can he deal with ‘hostile enemy combatants’ ? Have you ever been to bat day at Yankee Stadium during a Red Sox series? In the Bronx, no less? There’s some real hostile fans there. Torre is Mr. Cool all the time.

And what president has ever had to deal with the likes of George Steinbrenner? He’s more like Saddam Hussein than Saddam Hussein is.

Communication skills: While in office, President Bush has given the fewest number of press conferences of any president in recent years. Joe Torre holds a press conference practically after each and every game, win or lose.

No Press Secretary. No spin. No retractions. No post-press conference press releases explaining what he meant to say. It’s just Joe and the camera.

So, we need to pinstripe the White House.

He has done his job quietly, confidently, and successfully for twelve seasons. Ten division titles. Four World Series. And one over the New York Mets, too.

In the twelve years before Joe arrived:

There were nine managers, with Billy Martin and Lou Pinella having repeat runs.

World Series titles: Zero
American League Pennants: Zero
Division Titles: Zero

So, who can take Torre’s place? I know there is talk about Mattingly, Joe Gerardi, Bobby Valentine, Tony Larusso. All good choices for various reasons.

But I have my own suggestions for the Steinbrenner clan:

George W. Bush. Yes, Bush.

On the plus side: He goes to his Right very well. And he speaks funnier than Casey Stengel and Yogi Berra put together. And he was the owner of the Texas Rangers. Could be a great punching bag for the New York sports press. Will need a job come 1-20-09.
On the minus side: When he owned the Rangers, he traded Sammy Sosa. And he's not very bright.

Rudy Giuliani:

Upside: If he loses the Republican nomination, he could be ready to take the helm by the spring of 2008. He’s used to the New York press corps, and may have the guts to deal with Steinbrenner. Knows how to get to Yankee Stadium by subway, if he needs to.
Downside: He recently stated he's rooting for the Red Sox in the World Series.

Jay Leno:

Upside: Rumored to be leaving the Tonight Show in 2009, so he might be available. No real experience in baseball, but grew up in Boston watching the Sox lose. Has his own fleet of cars, any of which can be used to drive relief pitchers in from the bullpen. Can warm up the crowd with a great ten minutes, while the pitcher warms up, too.
Downside: May be too likable to be a baseball manager in NYC.

Yogi Berra:

Lives near by in Montclair; certainly has the experience and might still have an old uniform or two lying around in his house. Maybe he can catch a game or two if Posada needs a rest.

The Fans themselves:

Maybe Steinbrenner can save some money by going a season without a manager. Give the fans at the stadium and at home on the web the ability to make all the calls themselves. When a pitching change is needed, ask the fans to vote online. Certainly the technology is there. When a steal is needed or there a sacrifice bunt, go to the web.

So, it goes.

Ballgame over. Joe Torre over. The fans lose. The Yankees lose.