Top Ten Late-Night Jokes About Scooter Libby

I couldn't resist a Top Ten Late-Night Jokes List
About Scooter Libby.

After all, it is Friday.

10-"Earlier today, a federal judge sentenced Scooter Libby to 30 months in prison for lying. I believe prison is not the place to be when your nickname is Scooter." --Jay Leno

9- "Some speculate President Bush will pardon Libby right before he serves jail time, while others ... know he will." --Jon Stewart

8- "Scooter Libby was found guilty of perjury, obstruction, and making false statements -- or as the White House calls it, a press conference." --Bill Maher

7- "I say if Bush doesn't pardon him, at least he should give him a new nickname, because if you have Scooter on the back of your prison jump suit, you are just asking for it." --Bill Maher

6-"The Republican base is furious. They are saying it is wrong to convict someone of perjury and obstruction of justice unless there is proof of an underlying blow job." --Bill Maher


5- "Libby was indicted on two counts of obstruction of justice, three counts of perjury, and one count of not being as smart as Karl Rove." --Jon Stewart

4- "Personally, I think Libby got off easy -- usually when you take one for Cheney, it's a shot in the face" --Jay Leno

3-"In the Valerie Plame case, Scooter Libby was found not guilty ... on one of the five charges. ... But the media is instead focusing, of course, on the four counts of perjury, lying to the FBI and obstruction of justice for which Libby was convicted. It's typical. They always see the glass as 80% guilty." --Stephen Colbert

2- "Scooter Libby, who got indicted, has set up a legal defense fund to help pay his legal bills. It's pretty good, for a $1,000 donation you get a hand-written thank you note and the name of a CIA agent." --Jay Leno

And the number 1 Late-Night Joke About Scooter Libby:

1- "What did Scooter Libby say when he bumped into President Bush at the White House? ... Pardon me." --Jay Leno

"Congress Commutes Bush Sentence on the American People, Saying 19 More Months ‘Is Excessive’ "

The Republicans running for President are showing what spineless, slimy, 'law & disorder' folks they really are. Here is what some of them had to say about President 28%’s (and falling) commutation of the sentence for Scooter Libby:

TV DA: Fred Thompson:
"I am very happy for Scooter Libby. I know that this is a great relief to him, his wife and children. While for a long time I have urged a pardon for Scooter, I respect the President's decision.”

Former real-life Federal Prosecutor Rudy Giuliani:
“After evaluating the facts, the President came to a reasonable decision and I believe the decision was correct."

Clue to Rudy: This is a president who has no idea what the ‘facts’ are any day of the week. Obviously, neither one these former DAs, real or imagined, have any idea what real “Law & Order” is. They are both equally clueless.

The Democratic candidates were a bit more on target:

"This is exactly the kind of politics we must change so we can begin restoring the American people's faith in a government that puts the country's progress ahead of the bitter partisanship of recent years." - Sen. Barack Obama, D-Ill.

"This commutation sends the clear signal that in this administration, cronyism and ideology trump competence and justice." - Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton, D-N.Y.

"The arrogance of this administration's disdain for the law and its belief it operates with impunity are breathtaking. Will the president also commute the sentences of others who obstructed justice and lied to grand juries, or only those who act to protect President Bush and Vice President Cheney?"
- New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson

Here is the headline from the NY Times:

"Bush Commutes Libby Sentence, Saying 30 Months ‘Is Excessive’ "

Here is the headline I would like to see:

"Congress Commutes Bush Sentence on the American People, Saying 19 More Months ‘Is Excessive’ "