Cheese Steak vs. Hot Dog. South Bronx vs. South Philly. The Hudson vs. The Delaware. The City That Never Sleeps vs. The City of Brotherly Love. The Statue of Liberty vs. The Liberty Bell. Philadelphia Daily News vs. The New York Daily News.
Where WC Fields once said, “I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday. ” And Jay Leno once said, “The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up. ”
And just where is New Jersey with all of this? Just as Ben Franklin said, “A keg tapped at both ends”.
Well, it’s time to tap back.
What state will NY Yankees fans and Phillies fans have to pass through? Us. What roads will they have to travel on to get to their respective stadiums between now and next weekend? Ours. Which bathrooms will they be using if they drink too beer much at a game? Which gas stations will they use to fill up their tanks? Ours, that’s whose. Forget ‘Pay to Play’:
New Rule: “Pay to Pass Through.”
Set up EZPass to detect the Phillies ‘P’ and the Yankees ‘NY’ and quadruple the tolls. Charge them to use the bathrooms. If a Yankees and/or Phillies fans stops here for gas, charge’em a ‘pump your own gas’ surcharge. If they stop to eat in a NJ restaurant, add a World Series travel fee.
We have state debt in New Jersey, and now’s our shot to have help from Yankees and/or Phillies fans pay it down.
So, raise your beer to Ben Franklin: He had the right idea. He was just a century or two too early. And just had no way to pay for it.
(In the interest of complete disclosure, Ben would have most likely been a Phillies fan, where as I am a life-long Yankees fan. Prediction: Yanks in six.)