Monday, May 17, 2010

The Week's Best Late-Night Jokes

The Week's Best Late-Night Jokes

Political comedy is tough. You are always going to offend someone, but these folks don’t seem to mind. And the shelf life a political comedy joke can sometimes be less than 24 hours. But these guys endeavor to do their best work as soon as CNN, the New York Times, or Glenn Beck reports the news.

America is blessed by having several late-night common show hosts who also offer outstanding political comedy. Jay Leno, Bill Mahr, Jon Stewart, and and even Jimmy Fallon sometimes gets into the act, channeling his former role as the cohost of news update on SNL. But the best political comedian out there today on TV has got to be Lewis Black. So you can decide for yourself, here are the top 10 political humor lines from last week.

10 --"There's speculation that the 1,000-point drop in the Dow may have been sparked by a typo, where someone entered 'billion' instead of 'million' on a trading order. Economists are saying a single letter hasn't caused this many problems since the letter 'Dubya.'" —Jimmy Fallon

9- "At a stop in Buffalo today, a woman walks up to President Obama and says, 'You're a hottie with a smokin' little body .' She said that to the president of the United States. I tell you, Betty White is out of control." —Jay Leno

8-"This oil spill in the Gulf is affecting everybody. In fact, when I went to lunch this weekend and ordered the sea bass, they asked if I wanted it regular or unleaded." —David Letterman

7-"British Petroleum said today that if this spill gets worse, they may soon have to start drilling for water." —Jay Leno

6-"Dick Cheney's pals at Halliburton ... say they're going to do the underwater cement job to plug the hole. I thought, wait a minute, this is a mistake. Underwater cement? You call the mafia. Am I right?" —David Letterman

5-"The oil company said it was the rig company's fault. The rig company said it was Halliburton. And somehow, each time they passed the blame, Goldman Sachs made a hundred million dollars." —Bill Maher

4-"We're still dropping things on it. This is like if your toilet overflowed and you tried to fix it by smashing it with a brick. Their next idea is to get the old lady from Titanic and she's going to throw her jewelry at it." —Bill Maher, on the oil spill in the Gulf

3-"Well, in Colorado one of the gubernatorial candidates has taken out a Craigslist ad to find a running mate. Is that a good idea? Hey, it didn't work when John McCain tried it." —Jay Leno

2-"Good news from the world of publishing. Sarah Palin , former governor of Alaska, has a new book coming out this fall. The warning came from an alert T-shirt vendor." —David Letterman

1-On Glenn Beck's complaints that critics of Arizona's immigration are making Nazi comparisons: "Glenn Beck is offended! Glenn Beck thinks playing the Nazi card is going too far. Glenn Beck — this is a guy who uses more Swastika props and video of the Nuremberg rallies than the History Channel." —Lewis Black, in a brilliant Daily Show rant in which he demonstrated that Glenn Beck has "Nazi Tourette's “

"It's 'Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, except there's just one degree, and Kevin Bacon is Hitler. Can I play? Let's see. Mother Teresa had a mustache. Hitler had a mustache. Mother Teresa is Hitler!" —Lewis Black, on Glenn Beck's frequent use of Nazi analogies.

2 comments:

AmericanaRed said...

You want to see a good joke? Watch this video and laugh at Leonard Lance's Cap and Trade policy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RioAZ3Umkcs&feature=player_embedded

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