Congressman Leonard Lance Replaced With Evil Twin Right Wing Cousin “Cubby Lance”...

June 5th, 2011:

Congressman Leonard Lance Replaced With Evil

Twin Right Wing Cousin “Cubby Lance”

Washington, DC: It has been determined through carefully DNA screening, that moderate Republican Leonard Lance, has been replaced by his Right Wing/Tea Party evil twin cousin, “Cubby Lance”. This is from a source deep inside the Lance Congressional office, who needs to remain anonymous, and is known only by the name ‘State Street’.

“Meet Leonard, who's been in NJ everywhere,
From Trenton town to Hamilton Square.
But Cubby’s only sees the sights.
A guy can see from Extreme Right --
What a crazy pair!”, offered ‘State Street’.

The Star-Ledger first broke the story at the end of May, (Tom Moran’s “The Curious Transformation of N.J. Congressman Leonard Lance”), but did not reveal the reason why Lance seemed to ‘transform’.

Where former State Senator Lance was pro-choice, Congressman “Cubby” Lance has voted to de-fund Planned Parenthood; where former State Senator Lance was a solid supporter of senior citizens and Medicare, Congressman “Cubby” Lance has voted with Paul Ryan to destroy Medicare.

“But they're cousins,
Identical cousins all the way.
One pair of matching bookends,
Different as night and day,” continued ‘State Street’.

“Where Leonard always votes for pro-choice,
Supports Medicare, and has a moderate voice;
But Cubby votes with his Right-wing Chair
loves the Tea Party, against health care;
What a crazy pair!” shared ‘State Street’.

“You can lose your mind,
When cousins are two of a kind.”

There was no immediate comment from the Republican National Committee, or from New Jersey Republican Chairman Samual S. Raia as to when the real Leonard Lance would return to Congress.