Bailout of Madoff Not Making Everyone Happy

Special to AP Newswire

With 700 billion dollars being spent on the General Motors bailout, AIG, and many other financial institutions, “the money is flowing from Washington like sh*t through a goose”, as described by one “Congressman from the 3rd district of Alabama”, who asked not to be named.

“In the 1980s, I solved the whole dang Alabama state financial crisis myself when I was Calhoun County Commissioner with good Republican principles…that’s the d*mn truth. You can look it up. Give me ten minutes, and then go check Wikipedia.”

At least one blogger was not happy with current government bailout plans: “Bernie Madoff is getting his share of the government bailout in the form of 150 year’s worth of housing, three square meals a day, and full medical coverage. What’s this country coming to?”, posted blogger Spanky182 at www.Whatsthiscountrycomingto?.com. “I can understand a year or two until he gets back on his feet, but this is ridiculous.

However, the Madoff bailout had no effect on the housing market nationally: As the government was providing Madoff with lifetime housing, they also seized his wife’s penthouse apartment, “…an even swap, with a net effect of zero on the housing market,” one DC official was quoted as saying.

Fake Money?

Americans are really good at faking it. We are even good at faking that we are faking it.

Toupees. Silicon breast implants. Collagen for various body parts. Even so-called “reality shows” are actually quite fake. Most of Michael Jackson and Joan River’s face. That woman who has had so much plastic surgery that her fake face looks unreal –[I think her name is Jocelyn Wildenstein, maybe].

The other day I was having a conversation with a group of fellow Democrats about where the bailout money is coming from, exactly. One guy said that our ancestors and their ancestors will have to pay the money back. Hell, that I know. But where is the money coming from, I asked.

One person said, “From China. They own most of out national debt.” Hmm. Maybe, I thought. But I keep on reading that the Chinese have no money, either ---so how are they affording to buy our debt.

“We’re just printing it. The more we need, the more we print,” another guy said. That does not seem like a good idea. Doesn’t cause rampant inflation? At least that is what I think I remember learning in high school economics.

So, I am going to have to try and figure out exactly where this money is coming from. Are we faking a good bailout?