You might be from New Jersey...

Some years ago southern comedian Jeff Foxworthy made popular a series of jokes that became his trademark. These jokes began or contained the refrain “You might be a redneck…”.

He was poking fun at himself, one would think as a 'good ole southern feller' juuust might ---in the tradition of Jerry Clower, Andy Griffith and Minnie Pearl. Such jokes as “You might be a redneck if you've been married three times and still have the same in-laws." Or You might be a redneck if think TACO BELL is the Mexican Phone Company. Or your state's got a new law that says when a couple get divorced, they are still legally brother and sister.

If you like these, you can yuck it up some more with Foxworthy on either “Blue Collar Comedy” or the quiz show: “Are you smarter than a fifth grader?”

What got me thinking about all this was a conversation I had with a good ole Democrat buddy of mine in Flemington. He has lived in town just about a year, and is originally from Georgia.

He was asking me questions about New Jersey, “Like why do they call the beach “The Shore”? Or why does it always seem that Bruce Springsteen is singing about cars?” I said I did not know, because I am not from New Jersey, I was born in New York and raised in Brooklyn. Then he smugly replied in his slight Bill-Clinton-esque southern accent, “Well, you’d certainly know that information if you were from New Jersey. You might be from New Jersey if…”. His voice trailed off. But it got me thinkin'.

So, if you’re from New Jersey ---- please feel free to share your favorite, “You might be from New Jersey if …." phrases . We’ll call this the start of a summertime contest, and here are the rules:
I will name the winner when I think I have found one. And he/she/they will receive four free tickets to New Jersey’s preimier comedy club, Bananas, located in Hasbrouck Heights, New Jersey.

Here some starters purged from the ‘net:

You might be from New Jersey if…

• You live in a town with there are no self serve gas stations.
• You know what a "jug handle" is.
• You only go to the "City" for day trips.

And some I just wrote:

You might be from New Jersey if…

• You think Don Imus is an asshole.
• You know that the 65 MPH speed limit is merely a suggestion.
• You're tired of hearing New Jersey jokes on The Tonight Show, but laugh at them anyway.

May the best New Jerseyean win, [and void where prohibited by law.]