I see England, I see France…

Trenton seeks to tuck underwear back under TRENTON, N.J., Aug. 17 (UPI) -- Trenton, N.J., city officials want the city's children to keep their underpants undercover. An ordinance was suggested banning baggy pants styles embraced by teenagers, the Trenton Times reported. "I'm asking the support of council to send a message to our young people that they must cover up their undergarments," Councilwoman Annette Lartigue said during Thursday's meeting. Council Vice President Cordelia Staton said peek-a-boo underpants aren't only unseemly on the streets but in a school setting as well. She urged school officials to consider a ban similar to the one raised in the city council forum.

The war in Iraq rages on; the state is 30 billion in debt; locally, towns have issues with illegal immigrants. I am gratified, though, to see that none of these topics are problems any longer in the state capital. Their number one issue now: the display of underpants in public.

Whether you wear boxers or briefs, I am sure that you are as concerned as the folks in Trenton with the weight of this issue. It must be the waning days of the summer news cycle. I guess some politicos will do anything to get press in a slow news month.

I would imagine that Trenton already has on the books an ordinance against indecent exposure, so perhaps an anti-baggy pants ordinance is not really necessary. But where will it end? I just got back from Florida where the style of ‘pants wearing’ seems to include loud plaid pants pulled up almost to your chest. If you’re a man in your eighties you're always in style with the other folks at your condo complex if you're wearing your plaid pants ‘high and tight’.

However, is the exposure of white socks, pale ankles and brown sandals as upsetting to the town council of Miami Beach as baggy pants/underwear exposure is to Trenton Council-members Staton and Lartigue? I thought I would try and find out.

I called the office of Mayor of Miami Beach on this issue, and for some reason, his office referred to me to his 2005 "State of The City” address. I thought for sure that either the ‘high and tight’ pants issue or the ‘baggy pants’ crisis would be the center-piece of his speech. The closest policy statement I found was the following:

“We all recognize that there is no greater responsibility we have as a government than ensuring our public’s safety, and our highest safety priority must be the protection of our children.”

Hmmm, I guess the hidden meaning: He is concerned about baggy pants.

Furthermore, he expressed his, “concern for our residents, especially our children and senior citizens. [We have] worked hard for our children and families so that our parks and recreational programs are affordable for all of our residents.”

Obviously, they have it all handled in Florida, with good family values when it comes to pants issues.

So, the world takes what Trenton makes, and I guess the next thing they’ll make is good policy to deal with the age-old problem of baggy pants.

We will be sure to contact Jon Shure of NJPP, and keep him posted on the progress.