Thursday, August 26, 2010

US Department of Education reveals real reason why New Jersey lost “Race to the Top” funding: Gov. Christie was on “steroids”.

It seems that baseball is not the only American pastime plagued with steroids these days: US Department of Education spokesperson Grant Handley revealed today the real reason why New Jersey lost out on $700 million in educational funding: “it's obvious from the mistakes in this application, and the way it was hurried down to DC from New Jersey that it was obviously prepared by someone on steroids. And that someone is Gov. Chris Christie.

Under US Department of Education funding federal statutes, it is “illegal to use any substance such as steroids, narcotics, or perception enhancing drugs when preparing an application for any type of federal funding.” Ironically, this law was signed by Pres. George W. Bush––the man who appointed Chris Christie to be US attorney.

Mr. Handley made note that this was not the first time that it was observed that Chris Christie may have been on performance enhancing steroids. Like Roger Clemens when he threw a bat at Met catcher
Mike Piazza in the 2000 World Series, steroids can cause “rage, irritation, extreme arrogance and lashing out at others on a regular basis. With the New Jersey governor's attitude towards the NJEA, small towns and suburbs and most recently Justice Wallace of the Supreme Court––it's obvious that the governor has been suffering from steroid rage for a long time.”

Other evidence of governors use is his enormous “bulking up”––similar to the way baseball homerun hitters Barry Bonds and
Mark McGwire looked after many years of being on steroids. “You don't look you don't look that ‘bulked up’ from just eating food,” said a source inside the governor's office, who wished to remain anonymous.

Other evidence of the governor's use of steroids in the past was his blaming on Commissioner of Education
Bret Schundler for a “compromise” he made with the NJEA back in June during the first round of “Race to the Top” educational funding. Back then, he hid his steroid use by saying of Schundler, "I’m sure we’ll have disagreements in the future. Hopefully we’ll just handle them a little differently,”--after which he flew into a steroid rage.

Handley pointed out that last fall Christie flew into a steroid rage in front of Congress, when he was giving testimony. He left in a hurry, saying that he had to “catch a train and get back to New Jersey.”


Anonymous said...

ZZZZzzz ZZZZzzzz...

I like political humor from both sides but only when it is funny... and makes some sense.

Here is a real funny for you... Mort Zuckerman who backed Obama has written a piece titled: "The Most Fiscally Irresponsible Government in U.S. History"

Apparently he suffers from buyer's remorse.

As do most everyone except the intellectually bankrupt.

Anonymous said...

Wow... who would have thought that Obama would deny NJ money because of a clerical error. Gee is this politically motivated? Nah... Rahm would never think of such a thing.

From RCP: Governor Chris Christie comments on New Jersey's loss of federal aid because of a simple error in their report to the Department of Education: "When you look at how well this application scored, 51 points better than the Corzine administration application that was done in January -- great scores on reforms and an incredible job done by the Department of Education -- you're not going to grant the award to New Jersey because of a clerical mistake on one piece of paper? That's the stuff that drives people nuts about government, and that's the stuff the Obama administration should answer for. Are you guys just down there checking boxes like mindless drones, or are you thinking? Because what you want to have happen is to have a firestorm of reform of our education system in New Jersey, which is necessary, and across the country. Obviously, the answer is, they just want to check the boxes."

Anonymous said...

I like the "Countdown To Our Next Governor" on the website but the year is incorrect. The date says January 21, 2014 but Christie will be sworn in as the 57th President on January 20th, 2012.

Please fix.

Olap Reporter said...

Yeah, I was trying to tell whether this post was being funny or serious. It sounds like an anti-Christie position.

I am so thankful that there is a chance this spiral of ever increasing taxes that we suffer from in NJ might end with the electorate opting for a change like Christie is trying to make.

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