Saturday, November 10, 2007

Rudy jokes vs Hillary jokes: Which jokes are funnier? You decide.

On the Republican side, currently the leader in the polls is Rudy Giuliani. On the Democratic side, it’s Senator Hillary Clinton.

For comedians, the good thing about the both of them, is, that they are both easy targets for humor.

But, the real question is, who is the easier target?

You decide. Here are five jokes each about Rudy and Hillary, borrowed from late night talk shows.

Rudy:

"On January 20, 2009, you may very well be welcoming to the White House Rudy Giuliani and his lovely wife, whoever that may be at the time. ... Giuliani's first wife was his cousin. I'm not making that up. I think that's a very cheap way to go after the Southern vote." –Bill Maher

On Rudy Giuliani saying during a debate that he couldn’t possibly describe the mistakes he's made in 30 seconds. "Here's a hint. It starts with annulling my first marriage to my second cousin and it ends with my kids from my second marriage supporting Barack Obama because they hate my third wife." --Jon Stewart

"During a speech to the NRA, Rudy Giuliani was interrupted by a cell phone call, which he stopped his speech to answer. Giuliani then told the audience, 'That was my wife reminding me to pick up some milk at the 9-Eleven" --Seth Meyers

"Iran's president wanted to lay a wreath at Ground Zero, but his critics said, 'No, no. You are trying to exploit Ground Zero for political gain, and that is Rudy Giuliani's job.'" --Bill Maher

"Well, each candidate has an appeal for gay voters. I mean, Barack Obama knows what it's like to face intolerance; John Edwards gets $400 haircuts; and Hillary is really in need of a makeover. In fact, the winner of the gay debate will go on to face Rudy Giuliani in the cross-dressing caucus" --Jay Leno

Hillary:

"Yesterday on the campaign trail ... Senator Hillary Clinton was extremely critical of NAFTA, even though the program was implemented by Bill Clinton. When asked about it, Hillary said, 'It's not just NAFTA. I'm also opposed to my husband's views on MILFs." --Conan O'Brien

"Hillary has a big lead in the Democratic race for president. Political insiders are speculating that if Hillary Clinton wins the nomination, she may choose a Hispanic running mate. When he heard about this, Bill Clinton yelled, 'How 'bout Salma Hayek?'" --Conan O'Brien

"In an upcoming interview with the gay magazine The Advocate, Hillary Clinton says the rumors about her being a lesbian are not true and she says she's never had sex with a woman, no matter how many times Bill has begged her to." --Jay Leno

"Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton has proposed $5,000 be given to every baby born in the United States. And today, Republicans attacked Hillary's plan, saying what babies need are jobs, not handouts. ... $5,000? Imagine that. Remember when politicians just kissed babies? Now we have to pay them off too." --Jay Leno

"Last week, it got a little dramatic. Senator Hillary Clinton called General Petraeus a liar. And believe this, if there's one thing she knows, it's how to spot a guy who's lying." --Jay Leno

3 comments:

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