It’s no joke: The key difference between America and Poland

In America, our First Amendment Freedom of Speech extends even to dogs who insult the rich and famous -- Triumph the Insult Comic Dog.

OK, he’s a dog-puppet on the hand of Robert Smigel, but that’s not the point.

Triumph has made the words “... for me to poop on!” a national catch phrase. Triumph has taken on the likes of rap star Eminem, actress Jennifer Lopez, and even Democratic political consultant Paul Begala. He appeared on the MTV Video Music Awards, including an exchange with Jennifer Lopez which MTV later removed from rebroadcast airings. He asked to smell her butt. She was not happy with Triumph.

However, no one can doubt that Triumph was merely asserting his Constitutional rights.

In Poland, however, dogs receive excellent protection from 'false' accusations. Real people in Polish politics cannot insult the dog of a nation’s leaders:

“A Warsaw court has ordered an opposition party to apologize publicly to the speaker of parliament for making what the court said were false claims about him and his dog in a campaign ad, a court spokesman said Thursday.

The the Left and Democrats claimed in a radio ad ahead of Oct. 21 general elections that Parliamentary Speaker Ludwik Dorn's schnauzer Saba destroyed furniture in government offices he used in his previous post as interior minister, and that Dorn had refused to pay for the damage.”

It seems that the Left and Democrats have appealed the ruling, forcing a delay of the apology.

The party's leader, Wojciech Olejniczak, defended his party's ad, saying it had taken its information from Wprost, and noting that the magazine has not rescinded that claim."

Seems like this could turn in to a major national affair, requiring American intervention. Maybe even bring back the Cold War. Call in the Marines. And tell them not to forget their pooper-scoopers.

Since we stick our nose in other people’s business all the time, maybe we should try mediation first.

Maybe Triumph should go over to Poland, and try to help them negotiate a settlement before Bush decides to send troops.

Maybe he could start by smelling Olejniczak’s butt.