If you’re weight-challenged and have a voice that is volume-enhanced and have what can only be described as “a wide stance”, then there are only one of two choices:
1-You’re a relative of mine who recently attended my cousin Marvin’s wedding…
2-New Jersey Transit will be targeting your ilk for rudeness on trains. Starting very soon, there will be posters all over New Jersey attempting to remind people to be nicer on trains.
According to the AP story, one poster shows a woman whose mouth is wide open, appearing to be screaming, under the words "How many seats do you need?"
Another poster shows a man plugging his ears with his fingers under the words "I can't take the noise!"
"The posters are a social safety valve," said Doug Bown, president of the New Jersey Association of Railroad Passengers told the Asbury Park Press. "Instead of having to initiate your case, you can point to the poster."
And, I am sure such an approach will work as well on New Jersey trains as it would with my family at cousin Marvin’s catered affair.
Yes, I am very sure that if my Aunt Lilly is yelling across the room to her sister Bella to ask how her son Melvin is back in New York, a quick point to a “Shhh! Don't be so noisy!” poster will shut her right up.
More likely, it will initiate a response of “Who the hell died, and made you the boss?”
As the Talmud says somewhere, “Do unto others…”.
The rest is just commentary.