Wednesday, October 3, 2007

The McGreeveys disagree yet again: She uses MapQuest; he uses MapBlast.

The McGreeveys are in the news again. They cannot agree on where to meet to drop off their daughter, Jacqueline. [Yawn].

Here’s what the ex- Mrs. McGreevey has to say: The distance between her home in Springfield and the Ex-Governor’s home in Plainfield is a whopping 9.63 miles. That’s some mighty fine figurin’. She must be using GoogleEarth.

The Ex-Gov suggested that his daughter be delivered to a Barnes & Noble bookstore in Clark. Maybe he wants to check out how his book sales are doing.

The Barnes & Noble drop-off spot would save McGreevey 3.49 miles and seven minutes ---after all he needs his time to get back to his studies to become a priest. However, that would add 8.71 miles and 17 minutes to her transportation time, Dina said.

Caught in the middle the daughter.

Perhaps they should just leave the child with Britney Spears. Oops, perhaps not.

Doing my duty as a good mediator, and New Jersey resident who wishes to see this issue off the front pages, ---I make the following five suggestions of where to meet to exchange Jacqueline. They may not be convenient places, but they are more fun than a bookstore.

1- The Stone Pony, Asbury Park.

I was never a big Bruce fan, but I played the club once as a stand-up comedian opening for Buster Poindexter.

If either Jim or Dina are late, there are lots of pictures of Bruce in his younger days to look at on the walls of the club.


2- Lucy The Elephant

Lucy is the world's largest elephant, and the only one in America designated as a National Historic Landmark. Maybe I don’t get it because I am from NYC. Especially an elephant that is a national landmark in a Democratic state. Go figure. But it will give Jacqueline a life lesson of the other side of the political aisle.

3- The Flemington Courthouse.

I would be remiss if I did not recommend the place where the Lindbergh Baby Trial took place, in my hometown.

Dina can do some outlet shopping, Jim can check out the bar at the Union Hotel. And possibly, Jacqueline, can feel lucky that at least she was not kidnapped.

4-Palisades Interstate Park, the New Jersey Section.

Great views of NYC. You can see the tip of Manhattan, and the way the island used to be back before we bought it for $24 in trinkets. Oh, also at night it is a great place to make out in a car. Oops, guess McGreevey does not need to know that.

5-Cape May Lewes Ferry, Cape May.

Beautiful views of the Atlantic. And you can take the ferry to Delaware, if you need to leave the state in a hurry.

There you go; hope it’s helpful.

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