Special to NJ: Politics Unusual:(AP) Fifty years ago in July, United States President Dwight D. Eisenhower signed the National Aeronautics and Space Act into existence, creating NASA.
However, if Senator John McCain becomes the next Republican President, he is likely to sign NASA out of existence.
“They found water on Mars? Big f$#@king deal. What we needed for them to find is oil,” said the Arizona Senator.
“Why the hell do you think we’ve been spending all that money on the Phoenix Mars Lander? To get some ‘Martian ice’? No way, Jose. We needed to start 'way, way' off'-shore oil drilling there immediately. Now, whatya got? Zip. Nada. Nothin’.”
The Senator did make note that he was embarrassed that the Mars Lander was named for a ‘city in [his] home state’. “You cannot imagine my disappointment. I just don’t know what to say," he shared, holding back tears.
William Boynton, the lead NASA scientist for the Thermal and Evolved-Gas Analyzer instrument on Phoenix, was stunned, too. All he could muster were mumbles of “we have water...we have water”, over and over again. Boynton also said that water was positively identified after the lander's robotic arm delivered a soil sample on Wednesday to an instrument that identifies vapors produced by heating.
“That damn Mars machine can use its robotic arm to pleasure itself up there in space, for all I care,” McCain said. “If I'm in the White House, I will have one rule for NASA: No Texas Tee, no government moolah. No black gold, no American gold. Capice?”
NASA had no further comment.
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3 comments:
Wrong! No way... NASA JUST FOUND hydrocarbon lakes on Saturn's moon Titan. More than likely they are Ethane lakes that precipitated from the Methane in the atmosphere. The one they confirmed so far is the size of Lake Ontario!!!
See Scientific American article here: http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?id=liquid-lake-on-titan
Ethane is a big component of crude oil... So McCain has no reason to close down NASA because they found a place where crude oil is literally raining out of the sky and forming lakes and possibly rivers.
;-)
BTW...You fooled me good Joey... I went to do a Google News search on this because I was shocked McCain would make a statement about cutting NASA funding. The only mention I could find was at http://www.spacepolitics.com/2008/01/27/mccain-strong-supporter-of-nasa-and-space-program/ which detailed McCain's history of supporting NASA.
I am a big fan of NASA and post often about it on my own forum (which isn't space related). While there may be some budgets cuts coming (regardless of who is in office) I don't see NASA being 'exterminated' if McCain is elected.
Here is another article about NASA finding 'oil' on Titan. While this is all funny it is also huge news and I think it is bigger than finding water on Mars:
From http://www.sciencenews.org/view/generic/id/34607/title/Cassini_finds_liquid_ethane_on_Titan it says:
Anyone diving into the extraterrestrial lake known as Ontario Lacus would find an oil baron’s dream. The chilly reservoir, located on the south pole of Saturn’s largest moon, Titan, is composed of a key component of crude oil — liquid ethane.
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